[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWi9u-Q6IdU]
I went on an online blind date with a Chinese woman. Why over the internet you ask? The point of the blind date is not about simply meeting new women. It’s about meeting new women – from around the world.
The show is to learn about the dating differences from other cultures. We welcome you to the first show (as embedded above). For those that don’t have time to sit through the entire date (which was held through Google Hangouts on Air), here are some of the things I learned about dating in the Chinese culture. And now, without further ado, we present to you the blind date between Isaac Kim (Korean-American) and Qu Zhuo Lei (Chinese).
At what age do women begin dating?
China
According to Zhuo Lei, aka Xiya, most Chinese girls become independent of their household at around 18. That’s when they head off to college and learn to live on their own. Their newfound freedom gives them to chance to explore the world and experience new trials, including dating.
The majority of Chinese society frowns upon its underage youths dating one another. But once they become of age, they have nothing to hold them back from finding love.
Korea
There is no strict age when it comes to dating in Korea. I see kids in primary school going on dates with their boyfriends or girlfriends while some people in their 20s have never been on a single date their entire lives. However, although Korea society doesn’t necessarily look down upon minors dating, women (that are yet unmarried) are subject to living under their parents’ supervision until they tie the knot.
Are men expected to pick up / drop off their dates on the first date?
China
Never. That’s the quick answer.
Usually, a man picks up their dates from their parents’ house if the girl wants to introduce him to her family. By introducing him to her parents, the intended meaning is “we are getting married.” So be careful if your Chinese girlfriend ever wants you to meet her parents. You may think it’s just a quick meet and greet, but for her, it means marriage.
Korea
Once again, never.
In Korean society, it’s quite rare to see men pick up their dates. The two of them decided upon a location to meet at an appointed time. For couples that have been in a relationship for a long time, you can sometimes see men dropping off their significant other, but most of the time, girls find their own way back home after an evening of romance.
What do women look for in men?
To answer this question, many things have to be considered. There are those that are after money, those that care about appearances and height, and those that look for a man who will truly and deeply care about them. These are universal truths for both men and women, regardless of culture.
China
As mentioned above, some Chinese women look for men that are tall or good-looking. It all depends on the individual woman. In some cases, men (rich men) would pour everything they had to capture the heart of an especially beautiful girl. In other cases, two people would meet and have an enduring relationship based on the feelings they had for each other. Like most cultures, it’s really hard to pinpoint exactly what women want.
Korea
A lot of Korean women (as well as their male counterparts) have really high standards when they look for a partner. The most common among those high standards is height. Now I’m not saying all Korean women are interested in height, but most would add that trait to their list. But once again, it really depends on who you’re trying to woo.
And finally…
How long before sex?
China
This can be anywhere between the first few dates to a year. However, not many Chinese women tend to give their mind and body to a man they won’t see again after sex. Women want to know their man before they can be comfortable enough to lay with him. If a girl sleeps with a guy too quickly, others will judge her to be weak. Thus, they try to be careful about engaging in sexual activity.
Korea
Similar to China, Korean women won’t easily get into bed with a man. Sure, there are the occasional hook-ups and one-night stands, but when it comes to relationships, the sex part may take longer. Korean society (usually the older generation) often negatively portrays women if they have sexual intercourse before marriage. Many Korean men want their future wives to be virgins, wanting to be the first to bed their wives. With such a mindset among much of Korean society, it’s hard for women to indulge and divulge their sexual relationships with others.
For the better part of an hour, I learned much about the dating culture and customs in China. However, that doesn’t make me an expert on the subject of dating in China. It was a great way for me to look into the Chinese culture. And please don’t expect everything in my article to be 100 percent accurate because dating customs may be different in different parts of China. But do please take a look at the similarities and differences that you may find. And now that you have learned (or so I hope) something about the Chinese dating culture, you have more resources to find yourself a romantic partner in a different part of the world!
Qu Zhuo Lei (Xiya) is a 29-year-old Chinese expat living in Korea. She is receiving her Masters Degree in Special Effects in Film at Chungang University. Her interests include hip-hop, CG, and her cat, 흑백; Heukbaek; Black and White.
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